Mindful Hack #60

I’m not exactly sure why this is, but it seems that many of us are not very good at accepting a compliment. Were we not taught how to? Did we not receive enough kind words when we were growing up to have figured it out? Worse yet, do we have such low self-esteem that we can’t possibly believe someone else thinks something positive about us? I’m not sure I’m going to come up with the answer as to the “why” just now, but I am going to use this as an opportunity to practice mindfulness.

Let’s turn this around for a moment and think about a time we have paid someone a compliment and they’ve reacted in a dismissive or otherwise uncomfortable way. It’s a shame, isn’t it? It kind of takes away from the sentiment we expressed in the first place, that we likely hoped would make them feel good. I guarantee there’s no ill-intent in the dismisser, chances are they are simply uncomfortable (which was certainly not our intention).

I think there’s an opportunity to practice mindfulness as both the giver and the receiver of a compliment. When we pay a compliment and it’s met with discomfort, consider adding something like “I truly meant what I said and it would be lovely for me if you could know that.” And the next time you’re tempted to reject a compliment, take a deep breath and recognize that you’re being offered a gift. Realize that accepting a compliment, graciously, is a gift to the one who paid it.