Mindful Hack #64

How often have you had a conversation with a friend or a colleague who knows they need to make a change to improve their life, but they seem to stay stuck in whatever limiting rut they’re in? And how many times have you, yourself, known you could make one or two different choices to better something, but again, keep falling into the same unhealthy or unhappy pattern?

Perhaps it’s because there is an emerging longing to do things differently in a “new normal,” post-pandemic, but I’m struck lately by the realization that we really are our own worst enemies and/or our own greatest advocates. There is no change that’s going to happen without a commitment by us, through us and for us. We are smart to look for help and direction when we feel we need it, but at the end of the day, it’s on us to make a difference. I’ve seen so many people who want to see a shift and know they could benefit from a few small changes, but for whatever reason get in their own way. And holding up a mirror, I can admit that there have been many techniques I’ve learned that, without actually implementing them, are about as useful as tools collecting dust in a shed.

Simply put: We can’t help others who don’t want help or aren’t willing to be accountable to themselves. And the same goes for us and ourselves.

How does mindfulness play into this? Two ways: firstly, if you are supporting someone who’s trying to make a change, remember that it’s not about you if they don’t follow through, this is their journey; and secondly, if you are trying to make a change for yourself – tap into the why you want it and how you will feel when you get there – and be compassionate with yourself if you blunder along the way. We are all works in progress and the journey is arguably even more interesting than the destination.

Mindfully yours,

Adriane