Mindful Hack #57

It’s with a heavier-than-usual heart that I sit to write this week’s hack, but part of practicing mindfulness is acknowledging everything in this moment, and sometimes that includes difficult emotions.

It’s very unlikely that many of us get through this life without experiencing a loss that causes profound sadness. Whether by death, divorce or some other cause, grief is a very real feeling that happens to us all from time to time – it’s a shared part of being human.

But as much as most people can relate to and empathize with grief, it’s a very personal journey. When we are grieving, the ways we express it and what we need to process and heal, are unique to us and might not even be the same one circumstance to next, or even one day to the next. When we’re in pain, it’s important to be able to go within, to recognize that there is heartache there, and to be kind with ourselves. When someone we love is grieving, as much as we want to take their sorrow away, we can’t. 

So how can practicing mindfulness help? I’d love to say there’s some technique that can simply make mourning go away, but I don’t think there is. What mindfulness can do, however, is to keep the melancholy from spiraling into something else, like anger, bitterness or hardening. That’s for ourselves. And when another is suffering, mindfulness can help us tap into our common humanity and remind us that sometimes all that’s needed is to create a safe space that allows them to be however they are (provided, of course, they are not causing harm). 

Allowing others to support us as we grieve, and giving the support others need as they grieve is a beautiful form of connection, but there’s no single right way to do it. So it’s helpful to remember that grief, your own or another’s, is best held mindfully: with compassion and without judgement or interference.